The Lord Bless you and Keep You
Joseph’s Letter Home
a Christmas Story
by Dr. Ralph F. Wilson
there’s a 7:19 MP3 recording at the website http://www.joyfulheart.com/christmas/, need to download with flashget
![]() Bartolom?Esteban Murillo (Spanish painter, 1617-1682), detail from The Holy Family with a Small Bird (c. 1650), Museo del Prado, Madrid. Larger image. |
Dear Mom,
We’re still in Bethlehem–Mary and I and little Jesus.
There were lots of things I couldn’t talk to you about last summer. You wouldn’t have believed me then, but maybe I can tell you now. I hope you can understand.
You know, Mom, I’ve always loved Mary. You and dad used to tease me about her when she was still a girl. She and her brothers used to play on our street. Our families got together for supper. But the hardest day of my life came scarcely a year ago when I was twenty and she only fifteen. You remember that day, don’t you?
The trouble started after we were betrothed and signed the marriage agreement at our engagement. That same spring Mary had left abruptly to visit her old cousin Elizabeth in Judea. She was gone three whole months. After she got back, people started wondering out loud if she were pregnant.
It was cloudy the day when I finally confronted her with the gossip. “Mary,” I asked at last, “are you going to have a baby?”
Her clear brown eyes met mine. She nodded.
I didn’t know what to say. “Who?” I finally stammered.
Mom, Mary and I had never acted improperly–even after we were betrothed.
Mary looked down. “Joseph,” she said. “There’s no way I can explain. You couldn’t understand. But I want you to know I’ve never cared for anyone but you.” She got up, gently took my hands in hers, kissed each of them as if it were the last time she would ever do that again, and then turned towards home. She must have been dying inside. I know I was.
The rest of the day I stumbled through my chores. It’s a wonder I didn’t hurt myself in the woodshop. At first I was angry and pounded out my frustrations on the doorframe I was making. My thoughts whirled so fast I could hardly keep my mind on my work. At last I decided just to end the marriage contract with a quiet divorce. I loved her too much to make a public scene.
I couldn’t talk to you. Or anyone, for that matter. I went to bed early and tried to sleep. Her words came to me over and over. “I’ve never cared for anyone but you…. I’ve never cared for anyone but you….” How I wished I could believe her!
I don’t know when I finally fell asleep. Mom, I had a dream from God. An angel of the Lord came to me. His words pulsated through my mind so intensely I can remember them as if it were yesterday.
“Joseph, son of David,” he thundered, “do not fear to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.”
I couldn’t believe my ears, Mom. This was the answer! The angel continued, “She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”
The angel gripped my shoulders with his huge hands. For a long moment his gaze pierced deep within me. Just as he turned to go, I think I saw a smile on his shining face.
I sat bolt upright in bed. No sleep after that! I tossed about for a while, going over the words in my mind. Then I got up and dressed quietly so I wouldn’t wake you.
I must have walked for miles beneath the moonless sky. Stars pricked the blackness like a thousand tiny pinpoints. A warm breeze blew on my face.
I sang to the Lord, Mom. Yes, me, singing, if you can imagine that. I couldn’t contain my joy. I told Him that I would take Mary and care for her. I told Him I would watch over her–and the child–no matter what anyone said.
I got back just as the sun kissed the hilltops. I don’t know if you still recall that morning, Mom. I can see it in my mind’s eye as if it were yesterday. You were feeding the chickens, surprised to see me out. Remember?
“Sit down,” I said to you. “I’ve got to tell you something.” I took your arm and helped you find a seat on the big rock out back. “Mom,” I said, “I’m going to bring Mary home as my wife. Can you help make a place for her things?”
You were silent a long time. “You do know what they’re saying, don’t you, son?” you said at last, your eyes glistening.
“Yes, Mom, I know.”
Your voice started to rise. “If your father were still alive, he’d have some words, I’ll tell you. Going about like that before you are married. Disgracing the family and all. You… you and Mary ought to be ashamed of yourselves!”
You’d never have believed me if I’d tried to explain, so I didn’t. Unless the angel had spoken to you, you’d have laughed me to scorn.
“Mom, this is the right thing to do,” I said.
And then I started talking to you as if I were the head of the house. “When she comes I don’t want one word to her about it,” I sputtered. “She’s your daughter-in-law, you’ll respect her. She’ll need your help if she’s to bear the neighbors’ wagging tongues!”
I’m sorry, Mom. You didn’t deserve that. You started to get up in a huff.
“Mom,” I murmured, “I need you.” You took my hand and got to your feet, but the fire was gone from your eyes.
“You can count on me, Joseph,” you told me with a long hug. And you meant it. I never heard another word. No bride could hope for a better mother-in-law than you those next few months.
Mom, after I left you I went up the road to Mary’s house and knocked. Her mother glared at me as she opened the door. Loudly, harshly she called into the house, “It’s Joseph!” almost spitting out my name as she said it.
My little Mary came out cringing, as if she expected me give her the back of my hand, I suppose. Her eyes were red and puffy. I can just imagine what her parents had said.
We walked a few steps from the house. She looked so young and afraid. “Pack your things, Mary,” I told her gently. “I’m taking you home to be my wife.”
“Joseph!” She hugged me as tight as she could. Mom, I didn’t realize she was so strong.
I told her what I’d been planning. “We’ll go to Rabbi Ben-Ezer’s house this week and have him perform the ceremony.”
I know it was awfully sudden, Mom, but I figured the sooner we got married the better it would be for her, and me, and the baby.
“Mary, even if our friends don’t come, at least you and I can pledge our love before God.” I paused. “I think my Mom will be there. And maybe your friend Rebecca would come if her dad will let her. How about your parents?”
I could feel Mary’s tiny frame shuddering as she sobbed quietly.
“Mary,” I said. I could feel myself speaking more boldly. “No matter what anyone says about you, I’m proud you’re going to be my wife. I’m going to take good care of you. I’ve promised God that.”
She looked up.
I lowered my voice. “I had a dream last night, Mary. I saw an angel. I know.”
The anguish which had gripped her face vanished. She was radiant as we turned away from the house and began to walk up the hill together.
Just then her mother ran out into the yard. “Wait,” she called. She must have been listening from behind the door. Tears were streaming down her cheeks.
“I’ll get your father,” she called, almost giddy with emotion. “We,” she cried as she gathered up her skirts. “We,” she shouted as she began to run to find her husband. “We … are going to have a wedding!”
That’s how it was, Mom. Thanks for being there for us. I’ll write again soon.
Love, Joseph
http://www.joyfulheart.com/christmas/bum-deal.htm
Once in a while at Christmastime I catch myself complaining- about little things, inconveniences, mainly. “I don’t need this now,” I mutter, and wonder, “Why does this have to happen to me? Is God mad at me?” Then my thoughts turn to Mary and Joseph. Face it. Their story doesn’t center on sugar cookies and egg nog.
Why, of all things, did God let His own Son to be born under those conditions? Was God mad at Mary and Joseph? Of course not. Maybe God allowed the stable so we could see His glory backlit amidst life’s humbling experiences.
Life does have its downside, its reversals, its annoyances. And where is God when we despair? He was with Mary and Joseph every moment, working out His plan, just as He is with you and me right now.
I guess Christmas reminds us look to beyond our aggravations. God is doing something. You know, if we’ll lift our eyes above Bethlehem’s hovels for a moment, we might even catch a glimpse of the Christmas star.
蘇穎睿牧師 心疲 16/11/2008 播道會窩福堂 主日崇拜 廣州話
copy and paste mms://whc.org.hk/2277/so_20081116_mid.wma
蘇穎睿牧師 等的藝術 7/9/2008 播道會窩福堂 主日崇拜 廣州話
mms://whc.org.hk//2174/so_20080907_mid.wma
Eleven Steps to Providing a Supportive Emotional Environment
from Overcoming Underachieving (P.126-7) by Dr. Sam Goldstein and Dr. Nancy Mather published 1998 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
1. Try to see the world through the eyes of your child. All is not always as it appears to you. Make an effort to understand how your child thinks, feels, and then behaves. You must be able to see the world from your child’s perspectives — a task that will take time, patience, persistence and effort on your part.
2. Be reliable and available. When possible, schedule private time with your child each day.
3. Continue to offer love, safety and security, regardless of any problems. Make certain you express your care and concern even when your child disagrees with you.
4. Reinforce effort, even if he or she is not successful. Provide lots of love — hugs, kisses and pats on the back.
5. Consistently foster self-esteem. School success is not a matter of your child’s succeeding at all costs; instead, feeling good about successes is the goal. Do not spend so much time on academic performance that your neglect other strengths and talents; instead, help to find activities that promote those natural talents.
6. Build responsibility. Allow your child the opportunity to do things independently and to learn from experience, while keeping in mind that, for some children, responsible behavior develops in very small steps.
7. Start with the end in mind, and set goals that can be accomplished. Whether the goal is developing math, reading, or behavioral skills, know where you want to go and review this information with your child. Be specific about what “behaving better” entails, and set small, attainable objectives along the way.
8. Use a problem-solving model. It is critically important that you offer your child a good example of how to deal with life’s problems day in and day out. Demonstrate that you believe failure is something to learn from and that an understanding of today’s failure can lay the foundation for tomorrow’s successes.
9. Make certain that there is a balance in your child’s life. Children with school problems often spend an inordinate amount of time completing schoolwork, and they end up feeling that they do little beyond trying to deliver a satisfactory finished product in an area that doesn’t matter to them. They often don’t spend time in activities they enjoy. When after-school time is limited, make sure that your child spends some of it in activities that are enjoyable and reinforcing.
10. Take care of your relationship with your child. Among the best predictors of children’s success in adult life is the quality of the relationship they have with their parents — independent of school success or failure. Your relationship with your child may become strained becasue of repeated problems, so take extra time to keep the scales balanced and the overall relationship positive. No matter how things are going at school, find a way to spend enjoyable, nonstressful time with your child at least a number of times each week. It doesn’t matter whether you play cards, go out for pizza, or toss a ball back and forth — what’s important is having a regular activity that is enjoyable for both of you.
11. Remember that your goal is to be a safety net, not a savior. Not surprisingly, children with school difficulties often seek gratification in other areas. That’s why it’s so important for you to provide structure, support and successful experiences in the home, which your child can then transfer to mastery of the world outside. You must walk a fine line of encouraging your child, supporting his or her endeavors, and acting as a safety net rather than a keeper.

From Overcoming underachieving: An Action Guide to Helping Your child to succeed in School by Dr. Sam Goldstein and Dr. Nancy Mather, published 1998 by John Wiley & Sons Inc, USA
Understanding Learning and Learning Problems P.7
The learning problems of children usually cannot be resolved quickly or cured with a “magic potion”. Instead, they are often chronic and require regular management. It’s a parent’s job to be the manager and, eventually, to help the child to learn to self-manage the problem. To be effective at this job, however, parents must first understand how children learn. What skills are required for school success? How do strengths and weaknesses in particular skills affect a child’s mastery of particular subjects?….
If Your child is a chip off the old Block P. 59
…many of the same issues affected your own childhood and are even present in your adult life today. This would not be surprising; problems with inattention and impulsivity are often hereditary. If you continue to experience these types of problems as an adult, getting help for yourself is a critical step in helping your child. Long-term studies clearly show that parents’ availability, competence, and persistence are key factors in predicting good life outcomes for their children. By taking care of your problems, you will be easing your child’s problems….
Self-Esteem and You, the Parent P. 106
As we have suggested, your own self-esteem is likely to have a significant impact on how you cope with and respond to your child’s problems. The quality of these interactions, in turn, will significantly impact your child’s self-esteem.
There are two important rules for every parent: The “Three C” rule and the “Three P” rule.
The Three C rule stresses commitment, challenges and control. Recognize the importance of what you do as a parent, and give yourself credit for remaining committed – sticking with your role even in the face of struggles. Learn to view difficult situations as challenges, or opportunities to learn, rather than as stresses to avoid. Finally, recognize what you can change and what you can’t, and keep focus on what you have control over rather than on what you do not.
The Three P rule is simple: Be proud of your child despite the struggle, and convey your belief in him or her. Be patient. Recognize that although it may take your child longer to master a task, time and practice will bring success. And be persistent: develop a set of goals, and keep focusing on accomplishing these goals and on helping others, including your child’s teachers, to help your child meet these goals.
Teach these rules to your child. Be committed, learning to recognize difficult situations as challenges, and recognizing that in every situation each of us has some control will help your child build, nurture, and foster self-esteem. It will protect against being wounded by unthinking adults and other children. Likewise, learning to be proud, patient and persistent will develop extra resources for facing unexpected life events….
Being a “Fair” Parent P. 138
Children who have problems with learning require a great amount of time, especially from parents. If you have several children, don’t feel quilty about treating them differently, according to their needs…. Each child needs something different from the family environment. Children with attentional and behavioral difficulties require exceptional parents because parenting these children is more demanding and challenging than parent children who do not have these problems. The fairest thing that you can do as a parent is: respond to and attempt to meet the individual needs of your children. When children grow up in warm, supportive homes and participate in classrooms where expectations are realistic, they are far less likely to develop other weaknesses in the foundational blocks of emotions and self-esteem.
Being a conscientious parent is not an easy job. Remember to pat yourself on the back occasionally, and keep your sense of humor. You and your child will have your share of bad as well as good days, but be assured that your patience, persistence, and efforts will pay off….
Coming to faith in the God of all goodness and grace is the beginning of a long journey of growth and transformation. And there are many contours on this road. There are setbacks and doubts as well. But there are also the points of renewal and hope.
One of the elements in the moment of season of renewal is the practice of the discipline of solitude. At its most basic level this is a growing awareness of the need to be still and to become attentive to the voice of God and the movement of the spirirt within us.
This is the opposite of how we most frequently function. We are active. We are busy. We know what we should do and so we live life in full stride. And we pray that God will bless all our endeavours.
But there are times when this all becomes very uncertain. We are no longer sure that what we are doing is worthwhile. And we are no longer sure that God is blessing us.
Since newfound hope and purpose can’t simply be grasped out of thin air, the only way forward in times of doubt and uncertainty is to stop and to wait. And this can become the starting point for entering into a season of the careful practice of solitude.
While the practice of solitude should be part of the normal rhythm of our lives, it becomes particularly important and pressing in times of difficulty and need.
Entering into solitude is making a break with our more normal existence. It comes from a recognition that not all is well and we need to find new bread for the journey of faith.
Moving from activity to stillness and from stillness to solitude is a move towards a new attentiveness to God and a new openness to God’s spirit.
The outcome of this new attentiveness, while it may be to affirm the familiar, is often transformational. God encounters us and speaks to us in ways we have not anticipated.
Henri Nouwen suggested that “solitude is the furnace of transformation. Without solitude we remain victims of our society and continue to be entangled in the illusion of the false self.”
The reason the practice of solitude can be so transformational is that solitude distances us from our own activities and preoccupations and brings us close to the seeking and renewing heart of God.
The God who speaks in the silence of our hearts is the God who seeks to make us whole and to guide us in the paths of righteousness.
God draws near to those who seek, wait and pray. And God’s closeness is always one of embrace and empowerment. In that embrace we may see ourselves and the world very differently. As the beloved of God our insecurities may fall away. And as those guided in the ways of God we may see life’s circumstances and our world in the light of God’s presence.
Solitude is the framework for the gift of comtemplation, and a radical reorientation is so frequently the gift that God gives. No longer do the old ways define and shape us, but God’s gracious presence opens the way for newfound hope, love and direction.
Transformation is not the gift of those who grasp but the blessing of those who wait for God to move the waters.
P. 26-27 Hear the heart Beat with Henri Nouwen, by Charles R. Ringma, published 2006 in Great Britain, by Society for Promoting Christian Knowledge, bought in St. John’s Cathedral bookshop, Garden Road, Hong Kong

Life is not smooth sailing every day. It’s been tough last night. I was worked up.
I couldn’t control my mouth. In reaction to a small, perhaps causal comments from my husband, I was completely devastated. “You have no respect for me,” that was my gut reaction.
Went out for a walk at the Peak for one hour. It was past mid-night. No more tourists. All was so peaceful and quiet. Poor K, who was a major cause of the argument, was already asleep when I returned home by 12:30am. Her book report was, of course, not completed.
Life is short, why waste it on such temper tantrum?
Is my ego so weak as to not able to withstand a single comment on my management of the kids?
Luckily, I turned around my mood cognitively, realizing how much mercy we all need, for we are all sinners.
No one can be right all the time. And we should be more open minded to accept others’ comments.
Called friends, P, H & W. Grateful for these girl friends.
As I step into my fifth decade, really hope I can continue to grow as a person.
K failed to wake up as scheduled at 4:30am. She cannot finish Chinese book report and was very moody. I sought help with counsellors and teachers at school. Hope she will not mind me getting things into the open. We all need help some time in our life, don’t we?
C finish his art homework and breakfast in car with 3K. He will be in for another tough day, having to stay for the study skill group till 5pm and probably another tons of homework to tackle.
gotta pick up L from Stanley and then C from Western.
It’s nothing short of a mini-storm. It raged through on Wednesday night and Thursday morning.
We tripped, we argued, we fought. We failed.
Yet, God is faithful. When we ask, seek and knock, the door has been open for us.
Door to our heart and mind. Door to change.
In fact, nothing much really change as far as the situation and hard facts are concerned.
It is as if the colour tone of the early morning landscape being totally transformed into bright red and orange when the sun comes out.
Where are our priorities? Do we push for results at the expense of our relationship? Do we put our own views and interest above and on top of others?
Do we need people? Would we share our weaknesses and our needs and let people come in and help? Would we open our hearts and mind to change and grow?
I believe it’s God’s mercy. God shows his mercy through the showering of love from the people around us. We are indeed touched by God’s mercy through these nice people: counsellors, teachers, mentors. They know our weaknesses. Yet, they do not give up on us. They lead us to new grounds for growth.
How can we stop thanking for all these which have been given us freely?
Jesus’ apostle Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians V 10: “To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassinly geat revealations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
God’s word is true indeed. We have been so weak only two days ago. But now, we have stood up again with the help of others, and rather strongly.
Hallelujah! Glory to God!
Went to CH’s school’s PTA AGM, followed by meeting with Class Teacher, Mr. C.
Were told that our P.2 7-year-old Hong Kong kids are incapable of self-care, unwilling to raise hands and ask questions, slow in writing and composition, unwilling to think.
Is it really true?
Are we in a position to judge them.
Did we do our part to inspire, stimulate and nurture them? What are we teaching them? What kind of learning experience are we creating for them?
Are their response in classroom just “normal” reaction to some rigid, authoritative, uninteresting way of teaching?
I am afraid we have much to learn from our kids as well, and much to improve on our part.
Although slightly disorganized, I do appreciate the love and dedication of most of the teachers. Mr. C. spent all his recesses in the classroom with the kids, checking if their handbooks are well written. Considering the long lists of HW to copy and there are 30 kids, it’s a lot of work.
He also inspire the kids to learn Japanese and play ping pong, which is wonderful.
And Mr. L who teaches computer and General Studies patiently explained everything despite his sore throat. Ms M and Mrs C was also quite receptive when we discuss about the English teaching.
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The parents were also very concerned and anxious about the computer test next Wednesday. Teacher Mr. L. patiently go over the content, drawing, writing on the blackboard, explaining in details. Parents questions the importance of the test content (use of floppy disks), and grilled L. on each and every details of the test.
“There is no textbook or reference materials, how are we supposed to help our kids to revise? If we cannot do the revision with them, will they be able to get good grades?” That’s is basically the parents’ main concern.
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LHY’s mom raised concern about the strictness of Ms. Con. She is concerned that his son, an active boy, has avertion for Communicative English lesson during which he is asked to sit very still and work hard in colouring, writing disciplinely.
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NCC’s mom hated the way Math was taught. The format is to be strictly adhered to as far as the drawing of lines and how many blank spaces to leave between the words and figures. Isn’t Math about calculation? Her son was so “moulded” by the teacher’s strict teaching that he scared following his mother’s way would not be “right” in the eyes of the teachers. So, it is the mother versus the teacher this time?
Other concerns:
Vocab building up 200 per year not enough for P.2
We should get them to write journal in English, like other schools.
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Called WMC’s father this morning to learn more about their situation. Mrs W, who was herself an experienced teacher, grilled Mr. C last night about assignments went missing.
Where does the responsibilities lie? In a workaholic classroom where a lot of copying and distributing of bits and pieces of papers is concerned, choas do occur.
As a scout leader, I witness a lot of such choas. And the circulation of documents among us is nothing in comparison with a classroom with 30 kids.
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What is education all about?
Where are our priorities?
I know a lot of classmates are giving up extracurricular activities in order to just focus on academic work.
But is it worthwhile and good in the long run.?
On the other hand, giving my son so much activities on Saturday (piano, soccer, swimming, social skill group and grasshoppers meeting) leaves him very little energy for academics.
Parents and teachers do need to cooperate rather than pointing fingers at each other.
We really need to respect each other and co-operate peacefully. We are the model of our kids.
| Lord, make me an instrument of your peace, Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy; O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive; |
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St. Francis was born at Assisi in 1182. After a care free youth, he turned his back on inherited wealth and committed himself to God. Like many early saints, he lived a very simple life of poverty, and in so doing, gained a reputation of being the friend of animals. He established the rule of St Francis, which exists today as the Order of St. Francis, or the Franciscans. He died in 1226, aged 44.The prayer has many of the biblical truths of what it means to be a Christian – to seek to give, and in so doing, receive blessings; that the Lord’s Prayer asks God to forgive us as we forgive, and that the goal of eternal life can only result from us putting to death our old sinful lives. ( |
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| Pointers for Prayer : Sometimes Christians are called to turn the world upside down. To bring the exact opposite of what we find in our world. St. Francis’ prayer is a bold one, asking for strength to give of ourselves to meet the needs of others. He recognises that it “is in giving that we receive”, that as we give of ourselves, we receive the peace and blessing of our risen Lord Jesus. We cannot earn eternal life, but that we are pardoned from the sins that block our claim on it. Think about the situations that you are involved in that require peace, consolation, hope, light and joy. Then, if you’re bold enough, pray the prayer! |
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I am afraid we have more and more questions than answers.
CH takes much more time to do homework or revision than an average child.
Today (Sunday) was spent entirely on homework and Chinese dictation revision.
How have we become so workaholic? It’s perhaps fear of low marks and poor grades.
Try to promote his self understanding. “We must keep trying to overcome our own unique obstacles in life.
If Helen Keller can learn to read and write, you can surely do the same. You just have to double up the efforts
to compensate for your inadequacies.”
Harsh realities.
Luckily, CH is by nature a cheerful boys. He does shed a few tears from time to time, especially when he is tired. But he usually come back with a bright smile afterwards.
I also have to thank God for my patience. Today, I did not lose my temper at all. Just constantly think of something to keep him going. A new toy today was the electronic massager, which produces unimaginable effects to loosen one up.
A new goal set today by CH is to acquire a game cube using the marks awarded to him for doing homework. He got a total of 180 today.
Went with G to see Dr. C. What a lovely old man. Love the professional way he dissect the problems. Love his motto “努力爭取 隨遇而安”. Love his matter-of-fact and rather cool way in discussing all these intimate and embarrassing questions.
Adjustment disorder, what a wonderful term.
There is never one moment in life we do not change. And change we must adapt to. I am glad God has given me this opportunity to serve. Pray for his healing hands to work fast together with Dr. C’s medicine and N’s counselling.
Mom is adjusting to her new wheelchair.
What feelings do I have when I first saw that! Glad to see that her needs are being met. The wheelchair gives her sore feet some rest when she goes out and about. A bit sad to see that mom is indeed turning very old, and fear that ……
Mom is such a great person. Although she has never gone to school, never received any formal education. But she is so wise, so tough, so strong. Always there for us. K is writing her life story for Chinese class. Maybe I should do the same. Just for her.
CH was in tears for the whole General Studies class yesterday. Mr. O L told me when I picked CH up at the school gate that CH was leaning toward his classmate while doing a test, and he thought he was cheating. CH said he just want to borrow a piece of rubber. Knowing that my son could be cunning at times, I immediately checked his pencil case. Indeed there was no rubber therein. As Mr. O L retold this story amid the on-looking classmates and schoolmates, CH’s eyes turned red. “It’s nothing, my eyes are just itchy.”
K was rude again to 3K yesterday morning. Glad to see her apologizing in email. When I sent L to High School, there was this little girl in PE uniform crossing the road. Her face was so familiar… and she was K. In PE class, she chose triathlon. And they got to bike, swim and jog. “We swam out to the sea at Turtle Cove. It was such fun.” Glad to see her enjoying school again after switching for two months.
L was busy with college app, homework and tests.
West Side Story (1961)
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“Somewhere (A Place for Us)” music by Leonard Bernstein; lyrics by Stephen Sondheim “Somewhere” (clip) sung by Marni Nixon and Jimmy Bryant (a .MP3 file courtesy Sony). |
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There’s a place for us, There’s a time for us, There’s a place for us,
This video is as old as me. Be warned. Not suitable for children (by 1960’s standard):
http://tw.youtube.com/watch?v=-BQMgCy-n6U
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Sam
Sam is my friend,
An amicable one,
Smiling always,
At everyone
A thriving mustache,
With snow white hair,
Those smiling eyes,
And a tanned, tired face.
The rough, warm hand,
A special connection,
A unique spark
A symbol of friendship.
Peace is his dream,
His biggest will,
A day without poverty,
A moment without hatred.
Sewing up rips,
Fixing cracks,
Mending relationships,
Like what fishermen do,
to their very own nets.
Hunting for words,
His whole life through,
Drowning in pool of adverbs,
Swimming in the sea of nouns.
Then add in humor,
And pour in thoughtfulness,
Then sprinkle on top
A kind, caring heart.
Sam is my friend,
An old wise buddy,
Who gives birth to a duckling.
But not a moose.
Amazon.com Review
Sometimes, even in the middle of ugliness and neglect, a little bit of beauty will bloom. Award-winning writer Paul Fleischman dazzles us with this truth in Seedfolks–a slim novel that bursts with hope. Wasting not a single word, Fleischman unfolds a story of a blighted neighborhood transformed when a young girl plants a few lima beans in an abandoned lot. Slowly, one by one, neighbors are touched and stirred to action as they see tendrils poke through the dirt. Hispanics, Haitians, Koreans, young, and old begin to turn the littered lot into a garden for the whole community. A gift for hearts of all ages, this gentle, timeless story will delight anyone in need of a sprig of inspiration.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seedfolks
“You nourish your soul by fulfilling your destiny.” Harold Kushner
Grace is one of those intangible qualities that is difficult to describe but easy to recognize.Those who possess grace seem to walk effortlessly through life. They give the illusion of glowing from within and that glow is apparent to everyone around them.
To live in a state of grace means to be fully in tune with your spiritual nature and a higher power that sustains you. Grace comes when you are able to move from your lower self, where your ego dictates the path that “should be” rightfully yours, to your higher self, where you are able to trenscend your ego and expand into your greater good. It comes when you shift from a “me”-centred reality to an understanding of the bigger picture. Grace comes when you understand and accept that the universe always create circumstances that lead every person to his or her own true path, and that everything happens for a reason as part of a divine plan.
Sounds wonderful, you might say, but how do you achieve such a blissful state? By remembering each and every day that the lessons you are presented with are special gifts uniquely for you, and that learning these lessons is what will bring you to a state of grace. By anchoring yourself in the belief that you will be given whatever is right for you, regardless of how far off it may be from your perceived personal agenda.
Cherie Carter-Scott If Life is a Game, These are the Rules P.34-5
http://www.drcherie.com/Products/14/If_Life_is_a_Game_These_are_the_Rules.html
“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.” Ephesians 1:7-8
Here’s a favourite song from Katherine Jenkins “I will pray for you”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ju8cy0O4S8U
God bless!!!
I will pray for you
As you find your way
Through this life you make
I hope you live each day
for all it’s worth
Go where you heart leads
And dream your biggest dreams
All of these things
I will pray for you
I will pray for you
I will pray for you
Through every darkness
Through every light
This road ahead of you
I cannot carry you
But I can promise
I will pray for you
If a love so true
Breaks your heart in two
And it hurts so much
that you can’t forgive
And even the smallest step
feels like miles away
But you’ll get there one day
I will pray for you
I will pray for you
I will pray for you
Through every darkness
Through every light
This road ahead of you
I cannot carry you
But I can promise
I will pray for you
So if you ever start to wonder
if you’re in this world alone
I’ll be there to help you over
If you lose your way
If you lose your faith
When your time is through
My final wish for you
is to count your blessing not your regrets
With peace inside your soul
and all that heaven holds
I hope you always know
I will pray for you
I will pray for you
I will pray for you
Through every darkness
Through every light
This road ahead of you
I cannot carry you
But I can promise
I will pray for you
Written by Steve Mac/Chris Farren/Blair Daly
Rokstone Music Ltd, Songs of Windswept
Growth is a process of experimentation, a series of trials, errors, and occasional victories. The failed experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that work.
Human growth is a process of experimentation, trial and erros, ultimately leading to wisdom. Each time you choose to trust yourself and take action you can never quite be certain how the situation will turn out. Sometimes you are victorious, and sometimes you become disillusioned. The failed experiments, however, are no less valuable than the experiments that ultimately prove successful; in fact, you usually learn more from your percieved “failures” than you do from your percieved “successes”.
Most people feel great disappointment and anger when their plans in which they’ve invested a great deal of energy, time and money fall through. The first reaction for most of us is to feel that we have failed. While it is easy enough to jump to this depressing conclusion, it will impede your ability to progress with your life lessons.
Rather than viewing your own mistakes as failures and other’s mistakes as slights, you can view them as opportunities to learn. As Emerson said,” Every calamity is a spur and a valuable hint.” Every situation in which you do not live up to your own expeactations is an opportunity to learn something important about your own thoughts and behaviours. Every situation in which you feel “wronged” by another person is a chance to learn something about your reactions. Whether it is your own wrongdoing or some else’s, a mistake is simply an opportunity to evolve further along your spiritual path.
When you consider the hardships of life — the disappointments, hurts, losses, illnesses, all the tragedies you may suffer – and shift your perception to see them as opportunities for learning and growth, you become empowered. You can take charge of your life and rise to its challenges, instead of feeling defeated, victimized, or cast adrift.
Cherie Carter-Scott If Life is a Game, These are the Rules P.35-36
http://www.drcherie.com/Products/14/If_Life_is_a_Game_These_are_the_Rules.html
真的愛你
無法可修飾的一對手 帶出溫暖永遠在背後
縱使囉唆始終關注 不懂珍惜太內咎 *
沉醉於音階她不讚賞 母親的愛卻永未退讓
決心衝開心中掙扎 親恩終可報答
# 春風化雨暖和透我的心 一生眷顧無言地送贈
是你多麼溫馨的目光 教我堅毅望著前路
叮囑我跌倒不應放棄 沒法解釋怎可報盡親恩
愛意寬大是無限 請准我說志真的愛你 #
Repeat *
仍記起溫馨的一對手 紿終給我照顧未變樣
理想今天終於等到 分享光輝盼做到
Repeat *
仍記起溫馨的一對手 紿終給我照顧未變樣
理想今天終於等到 分享光輝盼做到
Repeat # #
是你多麼溫馨的目光 教我堅毅望著前路
叮囑我跌倒不應放棄 沒法解釋怎可報盡親恩
愛意寬大是無限 請准我說聲真的愛你 #
轉載來自 ※Mojim.com 魔鏡歌詞網
Poem by L from 8th Grade Publication Canned Brainfood circa 2004/5
Broken Mirror
Destiny Waited at her door,
Looking through the key hole,
The dice rattled in his hands,
It was luck that would make her win
Life is a game,
With endless twists and turns,
And one’s got to learn the rules,
Go by them,
or break them.
She was taught to go by them.
She learnt to let fate rule her life,
And not to have control of her destiny,
She learnt to have no faith in life,
As the world had failed her.
She learnt to have no trust in people.
As people let her down.
She learnt to accept failures in relationships,
But never patch them.
She learnt to stare into the crack in the mirror.
And never mend it.
She learnt to mourn the past,
And watch the present go by.
Trapped behind the glass,
Traveling in the endless ocean,
She knew no where to go.
No stars are shining for her,
No angels are guiding her way.
She sees no light,
For her eyes are shut.
The waves swept her away.
Far from her illusionary dreams,
And back to reality.
The darkness mocked her,
The screaming silence destroyed her,
No shadow cast on the water,
For it has betrayed her,
At the darkest times,
When no light could be spared by the darkness.
The silver linings on the clouds,
Broke through the silence,
Casting its first glory on her.
She opened her eyes,
And learnt to see colors in her life.
Looking into the cracked mirror,
Her reflection stared blankly back at her.
She saw a micacle,
As the crack began to mend.
She was the miracle.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhvmRP0jE4w&feature=related
Give thanks unto the Holy One
Give thanks because He’s given Jesus Christ, His Son
Give thanks with a grateful heart
Give thanks unto the Holy One
Give thanks because He’s given Jesus Christ, His Son
And now let the weak say, “I am strong”
Let the poor say, “I am rich
Because of what the Lord has done for us”
And now let the weak say, “I am strong”
Let the poor say, “I am rich
Because of what the Lord has done for us”
Parents and children
The relationship between a parent and a child is the most complicated one a person will ever have, even more than between wife and husband…..
Why the anger? Because we need each other so much and we are so disappointed when the other cannot meet those needs. Because children want their parents to protect them from harm, and parents can’t always protect them….
Children need parents who will let them grow up to be themselves, but parents often have personal agendas they try to impose on their children….
At best, children represent a fresh start, an opportunity to begin again with the benefit of the experience of previous generations but without the burden of the scars and mistakes.
This pattern of expecting children to validate one’s worth as a parent can become most destructive when people find themselves parents of a handicapped or retarded child….Such children need a lot of love and respond beautifully to love. They can be happy, outgoing and affectionate. What they can’t be is perfect…. I have seen too many parents angry at children for being born handicapped or intellectually limited, because that shattered the parent’s misplaced dreams.
I confess that I have never liked or understood the story in Chapter 22 of the Book of Genesis, where God commands Abraham to sacrifice his son, Isaac, born to him after many years of childlessness, and then intervenes to stop it at the last moment. I never liked the way it portrayed Abraham, so ready to obey it.
But some years ago, I read an article by a physician suggesting that Issac may have been a retarded child. He shares many of the traits of the retarded. He was born to older parents. He periodically gets into trouble by not understanding the consequences of his actions……maybe that is why Abraham thought he heard the voice of God telling him to slay his son, as many societies in the ancient world did to imperfect children. And God’s intervening would then represent His proclaiming to Abraham that even such a child is fashioned in God’s image, that even such a life is holy, that a child is born to grow to be himself, and not to be used to fill in the blank spaces in a parent’s ego…..
There are two things wrong with expecting your children to give your life meaning by excelling. The first is that it is a very unreliable way of achieving satisfaction…. But the real problem with this approach is that it asks more of a young child than is reasonable. It gives children more power over us than is healthy for them. A child has enough to do just growing up to be herself…
The amount of harm a child can do to a parent is limited…. But parents can harm their children much more seriously. We harm them not only with physical and emotional violence. We harm them with unrealistic expectations…. And we harm them by not modeling an adult lifestyle for them, an approach that includes a willingness to make and admit mistakes and learn from them rather than always insisting that we are right. Children need to admire their parents. And one of the things we should teach our children to admire about us is our willingness to say, “I’m sorry,” “I was wrong about that,” “I don’t know”
If we try to teach our children to see us as perfect, they will be terribly disappointed when our imperfections emerge, as they inevitably do. But if we teach them to see us as people trying to grow by learning from our mistakes, then we make it easier for them to see their own mistakes and failures as lessons to be learned from, rather than badges of shame and incompetence….
I have often suspected that one of the reasons children of great men grow up to be nonentities is not just that their parents neglected them in the pursuit of greatness, but because a great man doesn’t leave his children much room to surpass him. In recent years, I have heard many grown children of successful businessmen tell me,” I will probably never make as much money as my father made. I will probably not raise my family in as nice a house as I grew up in. But I’ll have my head on straight. I won’t be a slave ot business. I won’t bring work home on weekends. I’ll have a better sense of what’s really important than my parents had.” These young people, feeling unable to compete with their parents in terms of material success, have redefined success in the one way that lets them feel “better than my father”.
If we, at great effort, maintain a posture of perfection and if our children believe and admires us (because they want to believe and admire us), we leave them little room to surpass us and little hopes of doing so. But if we leave them instead a sense of our imperfect humanity and an unfinished agenda (as King David left it for his son Solomon to build the Temple, thereby achieving something his immensely successful father could never do), then instead of casting a shadow over them and stunting their growth, we leave them a space in which they can grow and flourish.
From Chapter 4 Fathers and Sons, Mothers and Daughters
How Good Do We Have to Be?
by Harold S Kusher
Back Bay Books, Little Brown and Co 1996
On marriage and forgiveness
Marriages today tend to be founded on romantic love. We feel swept away by feelings of rapture. As one writer puts it, ”You look for a person who throws you into a trance, and hope that when you come out of the trance, he turns out to be someone you can like.” We say to ourselves, “I can’t believe that someone that nice, someone that perfect actually loves me.” We say to ourselves, “He/she makes me feel so good about myself,” without realizing that when we say that, we are admitting that we don’t really love the other person. We are using the other person to help us to love ourselves. “If someone that nice loves me, I must be truly lovable.”
But if romantic attraction is the basis for love among courting couples, it is no long-term basis on which to build a marriage. The illusion of perfection in the other will not last. And that is why the essence of marital love is not romance but forgiveness.
Let me by very clear as to what I mean by that. To define love as forgiveness does not mean that a man can inform his wife about his extramarital affairs and when she becomes upsets, say, “The fact that she can’t forgive me proves that she doesn’t love me and that justifies my doing what I did.” Defining love as forgiveness does not require a battered wife to continue to suffer physical abuse at the hands of an abusive husband. Neither does it requires you to let yourself be exploited and walked over without a protest. Forgiveness as the truest form of love means accepting without bitterness the flaws and imperfections of our partner, and praying that our partner accepts our flaws as well. Romantic love overlooks faults (“love is blind”) in an effort to persuade ourselves that we deserve a perfect partner. Mature marital love sees faults clearly and forgives them, understanding that there are no perfect people, that we don’t have to pretend perfection, and that an imperfect spouse is all that an imperfect person like us can aspire to. (“For years, I was looking for the perfect man, and when I finally found him, it turned out he was looking for the perfect woman and that wasn’t me.”)
How Good Do We Have to Be? A New Understanding of Guilt and Forgiveness
By Harold S. Kushner Back Bay Books/Little Brown and Co 1996
Jesus teaches about Criticizing Others:
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you….For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:37-38
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother,’Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Luke 6:41-42
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Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.” |
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Standby Me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nlug95gAY2w&feature=related
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Sailed through another “storm”.
Counsellor N gave a good analogy yesterday. As long as the fundamentals are good, do not be afraid even if there are waves.
Yes, try even to enjoy the rocking of the boat of life in the turbulent sea. And have faith that things are not as bad as they seems.
CH came back with 75 for his English Comprehension tests. He was allowed 10 more minutes in a room upstairs due to his dyslexia. Glad to see that he is improving.
Pressure on Y is easing a bit now that the quarter is coming to an end. She will be off for another 3.5 hr hiking in preparation for her trip to Huangshan. She scratched her calves and left ankle badly when she jumped off the accelerating bike at the school gym yesterday. Poor thing. She struggled a bit on the story/play on the digestive system required for Science. Not an easy task. And she succumbed to sleepiness around mid-night.
Driver sent Y and L, and Y rushed her story in the mini-van, calling Dad to seek information on how the colon tackle the stuff which pass through it. C and I hailed a taxi to go to school. I coached him on exam psychology — how to control anxiety at the right level to obtain optimum performance. This I learned when I accompanied G to see Dr. C recently. It’s amazing indeed how you gain more than you give when you try to help someone!!!
Met WHF’s mom at school gate. Understand the pressure she and WHF are under, as much as CH & I. It is kind of comforting to know that the problem is shared by a lot of classmates. What does this tell us? With some kind of sociological imagination (thanks to C Wright Mills), we should perhaps try to tackle our problems at the school or even societal level. Grand vision, and may God help us!!!
Gotta assist L with her college app. ED is closing in nine days. Essays have to be re-written and written. Forms to be filled out and facts checked. Not sure how much I can help. But still grateful for being able to accompany her in all these. Our relationship is coming out very strong. Thank God.
Need to lock myself up at home again, and declined invitation to lunches (this time with M from Toronto) for a third time this week. Really need to conserve energy for the kids. I find myself losing calm if I go out too much.
3K will set out for a short sailing trip. He just mentioned that he put my name as his next-of-kin for yacht club. Of course. Have a safe trip!
Here’s a hymn which I love. Hope you’ll enjoy it too.
As the deer
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/jonathan_harris_collects_stories.html
20 min 29 seconds
At the EG conference in December 2007, artist Jonathan Harris discusses his latest projects, which involve collecting stories: his own, strangers’, and stories collected from the Internet, including his amazing “We Feel Fine.” And a trip to Bhutan to interview people about happiness in life.
Artist and computer scientist Jonathan Harris makes online art that captures the world’s expression — and gives us a glimpse of the soul of the Internet.
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/jill_bolte_taylor_s_powerful_stroke_of_insight.html
Jill Bolte Taylor got a research opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: She had a massive stroke, and watched as her brain functions — motion, speech, self-awareness –- shut down one by one. An astonishing story.
Brain researcher Jill Bolte Taylor studied her own stroke as it happened — and has become a powerful voice for brain recovery.
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/tony_robbins_asks_why_we_do_what_we_do.html
Tony Robbins discusses the “invisible forces” that motivate everyone’s actions — and high-fives Al Gore in the front row.
Tony Robbins makes it his business to know why we do the things we do. The pioneering life coach has spoken to millions of people through his best-selling books and three-day seminars.
Children grow up so quickly. Believe me. I have a 16-year-old, who is going to college next year.
Time has really flied. So, treasure all the good times and bad times.
Here’s a e-card, and an article on how better to enjoy your children.
Hope your’ll find it useful.
http://www.geocities.com/expressions_by_ecard/ENJOYYOURCHILDREN.html
http://parentingmethods.suite101.com/article.cfm/enjoy_your_children
Here’s a song for you too: Whatever will be will be by Doris Day:
http://tw.youtube.com/watch?v=i7jG91sPvf0
不要殺雞取卵
是有雞先 , 還是有蛋先 , 這老掉牙的問題小學生也懂 . 那麼是有好的學習動機與習慣先 ? 還是有好成績先 ? 那當然是前者是因 , 後者為果 .
但細心想想 , 在今天香港這考試主導 , 分數至上的學習模式中 , 即使閣下的子女是飽覽群書 , 學富五車 , 才藝雙全 , 假如欠缺操練 , 恐怕也難以取得好分數 , 好成績 , 難以得到名列前茅那份成功感及被人認同感 .
昨天 , 第一眼看到兒子英語測試卷的成績 : 53 , 自己也直覺地不高興 , 不期然有點挫敗感 ; 幸好 , 身經百戰的我沒有被這不理性的感覺主導自己的思想 , 反而看得出兒子已盡了他的努力 . 我鼓勵兒子 , 我們雖然已盡力 , 但分數並不高 , 下次再接再勵吧 ! 孩子也如釋重負 , 開開心心的去玩 .
今早靜下來再看看試卷 , 果真厲害 , 35分鐘要答三部份14題長答題 , 每題分半鐘也要21分鐘才完成 , 餘下就只有14分鐘即840秒回答44題短答題 , 即19秒答一題 . 所以說 , 在這制度下, 無論孩子是如何聰明伶俐 , 要取得高分數就要勤加操練 .
然而 , 孩子與父母的生活是如何忙碌及疲累 , 大家都心裡有數 . 做不完的功課 , 練琴 , 練樂器 , 還加上多不勝數的課外活動 , 連休息的時間 , 一家人相聚的時間也欠缺 .
所以 , 講到底 , 這是一個經濟學的入門問題 — 資源不夠就必須抉擇 . 時間是人最寶貴的資源 , 我會選擇平衡一點的生活 . 溫習是必須的 , 而且要持久作戰 , 持之以恆 , 並盡量令溫習成為有興趣的學習而並非死記爛背 ; 但我更珍惜孩子的愉快童年 , 決心要讓他日後有美好的回憶 , 即使成績平平 , 我認為也是值得的 .
我情願孩子保留學習的興趣 , 愛閱讀 , 愛運動 , 愛研究事物 , 愛與朋友玩耍 , 也不願見他整天為分數而神經兮兮 . 謹以此與朋友及同學家長共勉之 , 千萬不要殺雞取卵 , 破壞親子關係 , 記住留得青山在 , 那怕沒柴燒 ! 孩子要走的路還有很長呢 !
正是 : 寧願我兒愚且魯 , 開心成長到百年 !
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/einstein_the_parrot_talks_and_squawks.html
This whimsical wrap-up of TED2006 — presented by Einstein, the African grey parrot, and her trainer, Stephanie White — simply tickles. Watch for the moment when Einstein has a moment with Al Gore.
Einstein, the African grey parrot, has a vocabulary of more than 200 words and sounds; she can perform nearly half on cue.
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/rives_controls_the_internet.html
How many poets could cram eBay, Friendster and Monster.com into 3-minute poem worthy of a standing ovation? Enjoy Rives’ unique talent.
Storyteller, writer and slam poet Rives has appeared on the last three seasons of HBO’s Def Poetry Jam and was a member of the Def Poetry Jam international touring group. Offstage, Rives designs….
Priorities
Our greatest danger in life is in permitting the urgent things to crowd out the important
Charles Hummel
Use or Lose Your Marbles
Nothing shapes our attitudes more than focusing on our priorities, because when we move toward our reason for being, the result usually is happiness and peace of mind.
I recently read an article about a man who know how to keep a good perspective on his priorities. He called it his “theory of a thousand marbles”.
At age 55, he began to realize his weeks and his years were flying by. He figured that the average person lived to be 75, which gave him another twenty years, so with fifty-two weeks in a year that gave him approximately one thousand precious weekends left to enjoy with the people he loved most.
So he bought one thousand marbles, put them in a clear plastic container, and placed the container on a credenza in his office. Every Monday, he would take out one marble and throw it away.
He discovered that as the marbles diminished, he focused more on the most important aspects of life, and he observed, ”There’s nothing like watching your time here on earth run out to help get your priorities straight.”
From The Power of Attitude Founder of Successories, Marc Anderson P.93
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「靜觀」就是用心地以平常心如實觀察 活在當下 |
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甚麼是「靜觀」(又譯「專注覺察」)
(Mindfulness)?
城市急速的生活步伐,常令人迷失方向,容易跌入不快情緒的漩渦中。我們愈要達到心目中理想完美境界,愈企圖控制生活中種種不能確定的事物,就愈容易變得沮喪、無助、不安……
簡單來說,「靜觀」是有意識地,不加批判地將注意力置於此時此刻之上。這份注意力可以孕育出更大的覺察力和思考力,也能幫助我們接納當下的現實。在覺察力不足的情況下,我們很容易被潛藏的恐懼和不安驅使,引發出無意識的負面行為。有時即使我們發現自己處理事情的方法不很有效,慣性的機械式反應仍然會在壓力下反覆出現。若不正視和處理,久而久之,心境愈耒愈困擾,失去尋求滿足和快樂的力量,出現種種身心病癥。
「靜觀」提供了一條簡單而有力的路徑,協助我們解開困擾,重新與內在的智慧和活力連繫。「靜觀」能幫助我們再次掌管自己生命的方向和質素,以及人際關係。這種開放的態度,使我們不再被自己的喜惡、主見、偏見、投射與期望而困惱,助我們從過去狹窄的角度突破出來。
雖然「靜觀」的哲理與技巧源自佛法,但它的本質是關乎生活的智慧,是有系統的自我認識及反省的過程,不跟任何宗教信仰有衝突。更重要的是「靜觀」訓練經歷二十多年在學術界的研究和發展,已成為一門創新的科學及治療方法。
「靜觀減壓課程」由 Jon Kabat – Zinn教授於1979年在美國麻省大學醫學院靜觀中心創辦,為患心臟病,癌症,愛滋病,長期痛症,腸胃炎,頭痛,高血壓,睡眠失調,焦慮及驚恐症等病人,提供八星期的減壓課程。歷年來,
科學研究顯示此課程能有效地減輕身心疾病,促進健康。近年,靜觀訓練亦應用在心理治療上,對治療抑鬱、焦慮、邊緣個性異常都有一定的幫助。
「靜觀減壓課程」亦陸續推展至世界各地,現全球已有超過240所醫院、診所和醫學研究中心舉辦此課程。在香港,自1997年至今,在醫院、社區中心、大學等機構,亦有不少人參加「靜觀減壓課程」而受益。
http://www.mindfulness.hk//modules/tinyd0/index.php?id=2
From Wikipedia
Mindfulness is concentrated awareness of one’s thoughts, actions or motivations. Mindfulness (Pali: Sati; Sanskrit: smṛti स्मृति) plays a central role in the teaching of the Buddha where it is affirmed that ‘correct’ or ‘right’ mindfulness (Pali:sammā-sati; Sanskrit samyak-smṛti) is an essential factor in the path to enlightenment and liberation. It is the seventh element of the Noble Eightfold Path, the sadhana of which is held in the tradition to engender ‘insight‘ and ‘wisdom‘ (Sanskrit: prajñā). Its techniques are increasingly being employed in Western Psychology to help alleviate a variety of conditions.
If I had my child to raise all over again
If I had my child to raise all over again,
I’d finger-paint more and point the finger less.
I’d do less correcting and more connecting.
I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less and know to care more.
I’d take more hikes and fly more kites.
I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I’d run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I’d do more hugging and less tugging.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I’d teach less about the love of power, and more about the power of love.
By Diane Loomans
http://www.dianaloomans.com/child.htm
Whitney Houston – The Greatest Love of All
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1OoM3N7mfc
NAT KING COLE L-O-V-E
| Christopher Johnson McCandless | |
Christopher McCandless in his camp on the Stampede Trail (self-portrait found undeveloped in his camera at the time of his death)
|
|
| Born | February 12, 1968 Southern California, USA |
|---|---|
| Died | August 18, 1992 (aged 24) Stampede Trail, Alaska, USA |
| Parents | Walt and Billie McCandless |
Christopher Johnson McCandless (February 12, 1968 – August 18, 1992) was an American wanderer who hiked into the Alaskan wilderness with little food and equipment, hoping to live a period of solitude. Nearly five months later, he died of starvation near Denali National Park and Preserve. In 1996, Jon Krakauer wrote a book about his life, Into the Wild, which inspired a 2007 film of the same name (with Emile Hirsch portraying McCandless.)
Quite a story.
A poem from the beginning of the film from Lord Byron
There is pleasure in the pathless woods
There is a rapture on the lonely shore
There is society where none intrudes
By the deep sea, and music in it roar
I love not man the less, but nature more
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
Sound of Silence
by Simon and Garfunkel
Hello darkness, my old friend,
I’ve come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.
In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
‘Neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence.
“Fools” said I, “You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you.”
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence.
And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the sign said, “The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls.“
And whisper’d in the sounds of silence.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhdGkZ6Fngw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaGHVq4zYLQ&feature=related
from Simon and Garfunkel
All is not quiet on home turf. CH continues to hate doing HW. After school activities kept him busy on most days until at least 5:30pm. He winds down with reading Doraemen and Old Master Q comics. He also enjoys eating slowing, for about an hour. By the time he starts working, it is normally 8pm. As he works with snail’s pace, he can’t finish until 10 pm even with some assistance and constant companionship. I have gotten used to this kind of work, but occasional feel very tired and sick of going through the mill. 3K tries to help from time to time when he finishes eating by 9:30pm.
Still, God has sent “angels” to help. Just saw one of them at school: Mr. C, education psychologist. He was able to observe CH in class, did post-test error analyses with him to see what tripped him, and spoken with him directly about school, teachers and students. The school has been going out of its way to help us, with study skills class, language therapy session and moderating the tests and dictations. I remind myself to be thankful and treasure what I have in hand.
But 3K’s been thinking about “future” and “what ifs”. And he thinks moving CH out of the local system into the international stream should be the ultimate goal. Yes, but how? We have already tried 3 earlier this year but got rejected because of insufficient language fluency. Given his dyslexia, he can’t fluently express himself even in his mother tongue. And it takes so long for him to warm up to new environments and people. It has taken at least half a year before he remembers names of his current classmates. Starting all over in a new class, new school with new rules could be too challenging? In a small class in a real international school — with half of them girls, and quite a number of Caucasian boys – how many potential friends can he make (cultural proximity and language matters)?
Mr. C’s quick feedback is that a local school with less academic demands may suit CH currently. That is not the reality 3K would like to see.
So, we have reached Catch-22. The longer you stay, the less chance of getting out. And we can never get out of this slave-driving system unless you take a first step. But who wants to spend extra time/efforts on a special need child? Sadly, education is more often then not just a façade, an enterprise, and a system with its own purposes to glorify. You are lucky to be speaking to someone who doesn’t know you before and is genuinely trying to looking after your interest and not your money.
With the current financial turmoil, chances are better. That means I have to start this grueling form-filling, information-seeking, “test-prepping” process all over again. Tell me about it, I had gone through it with K last year: a total of 6. She was good enough to get 2 offers, 2 on reserve and 2 refusals. It could quite devastating to be rejected by all, and I can imagine this scenario for CH.
It will be a busy day today. K has two appointments: first to finish off her assessment at Mrs S and dental.
Just hope that there will not be too much homework for CH so that I can attend cub scout leaders’ meeting as I have promised.
College app process and pressure to keep up the grades are continuing for L. Poor dear, she looks almost like a panda. But Ms P is such an angel to her, keeping watch, and calling us after a long day of meeting just to re-assure us.
I am grateful for myself, my children, husband, family and my life as they are. Grateful for Jesus who saved me!
It’s such a gorgeous day! Cheers!
“Fate, not God, sends us the problem. When we try to deal with it, we find out that we are not strong. We are weak; we get tired; we get angry, overwhelmed. We begin to wonder how we will ever make it through all the years. But when we reach the limits of our own strength and courage, something unexpected happens. We find reinforcement coming from a source outside of ourselves. And in the knowledge that we are not alone, that God is on our side, we manage to go on….”
“Like Jacob in the scary situation, prayed for help, and found out that you were a lot stronger, and a lot better able to handle it, than you ever would have thought you were. In your desperation, you opened your heart in prayer, and what happened? You didn’t get a miracle to avert a tragedy. But you discovered people around you, and God beside you, and strength within you to help you survive the tragedy. I offer that as an example of a prayer being answered.”
When Bad Things Happened to Good People
Harold S. Kushner
Published by Quill 2001
Faith
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see….(Hebrews 11 v1)
…let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God…. (Hebrew 12 v 1-2.)
Endure hardship as discipline…. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed. (Hebrew 12 v 7, v 11-13)
The New Testament
Reading from
The Seven Habits of the Highly Effective People
Stephen R. Covey P.66 – 73
I know of no more encouraging fact
Than the unquestionable ability of man
To elevate his life by conscious endeavor.
Henry David Thoreau
The Story of Viktor Frankl:
A Psychiatrist, a Jew imprisoned in the death camps of the Nazi Germany
“One day, naked and alone in a small room, he began to become aware of what he later called “the last of the human freedoms” – the freedom his Nazi captors could not take away. They could control his entire environments, they could do that they wanted to his body, but Viktor Frankl himself was a self-aware being who could look as an observer at his very involvement. His basic identity was intact. He could decide within himself how all of this was going to affect him. Between what happened to him, or the stimulus, and his response to it, was his freedom or power to choose that response.
Within the freedom to choose are those endowments that make us uniquely human. In addition to self-awareness, we have imagination – the ability to create in our minds beyong our present reality. We have conscience – a deep inner awareness of right and wrong, of the principles that govern our behaviour, and a sense of the degree to which our thoughts and actions are in harmony with them. And we have independent will – the ability to act based on our self-awareness, free of all other influences.
Look at the word responsibility – “response-ability” – the ability to choose your response. Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility. They do not blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behaviour. Their behaviour is a product of their own conscious choice, based on values, rather than a product of their conditions, based on feelings…..
The ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is the essence of the proactive person. Reactive people are driven by feelings, by circumstances, by conditions, by their environment. Proactive people are driven by values – carefully thought about, selected and internalized values….
It is not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us. Of course, things hurt us physically or economically and can cause sorrow. But our character, our basic identity, does not have to be hurt at all. In fact, our most difficult experiences become the crucibles that forge our character and develop the internal powers, the freedom to handle difficult circumstances in the future and to inspire others to do so as well….
與 其 咒 詛 黑 暗 , 不 如 燃 燒 自 己
http://ihome.cuhk.edu.hk/~b110212/05_Celebrity/celebrity_soyanpui.htm
It is with God’s grace that we as a family is choosing to love and help each other rather than curse and blame.
God has open our eyes to see that love is what we should choose. And we should count our blessings. God has put some many angels around us. There is so much help, so many people who really care for us.
But what about others? What about the less fortunate in our society? What about all the “slaughtering of young minds in the name of education” in schools nowadays? What about those special need children who are left to perish in this rat race? Don’t we have a responsibility to help them?
It is in giving that we shall receive….
“4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails.”
1 Corinthians 13 v 4-8
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand.
And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produce perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Romans 5 v 1-5
My grace is sufficient for you, for power is make perfect in weakness
2 Cor 12:9
你很特別 — 特別的書給特別的你
當今孩子們真是活得很辛苦 . 雖然物質上不缺乏 , 卻有來自不安全感的焦慮和壓力 . 他們不但被比來比去 , 也會自己不知覺地跟別人比 . 在比較之中 , 他們迷失了 , 也產生混亂和模糊的自我概念 .
[自我概念] 是指一個人的自知之明 .
從很小的時候 , 孩子就從周圍的人對他的評價中 , 開始搭建 [我是誰] 的工程 . 漸漸長大 , 有的人會將累積下來的評價整理 , 修正 , 對自己有一番還算不太偏差的認識 ; 但是也有不少人一直停留在別人的評價中 , 老怕自己不夠好 , 日子過得很辛苦 .
就像在這個故事中 , 有的人被貼了太多的金星貼紙 , 以致自恃過高 ; 也有的人已經貼滿灰點貼紙 , 覺得自己一無是處 , 自卑自憐 . 其實 , 自高和自卑都是不健康的自我概念 . 而自我概念就像人生的藍圖 , 如果距離實際太遠 , 即使很認真 , 很努力地蓋 , 蓋出來的建築物還是不理想 , 也會有許多浪費 , 就像胖哥一樣 .
幸好 , 他找到了那位創造他的依萊 , 瞭解了自己的尊貴與獨特 . 你相信有一天他也會像他所羨慕的露西亞一樣 , 不必活在別人的論斷中嗎 ? 你相信當身上被莫名其妙貼上的貼紙都掉落後 , 胖哥能享受更坦然自在的自我嗎 ? 你相信有了健康的自我概念的胖哥 , 會把他貼別人的貼紙也都丟掉嗎 ?
國立台灣師範大學教授 黃迺毓
你很特別」繪本內容
文章來源:「你很特別」陸可鐸著 /丘慧文、郭恩惠譯 道聲出版社
微美克人是一群小木頭人。他們都是木匠伊萊雕刻成的。他的工作室座落在一個山丘上,從那兒可以俯瞰整個微美克村。
每一個微美克人都長得不一樣。有的大鼻子,有的大眼睛;有的個子高,有的個子矮;有人帶帽子,有人穿外套。
但是他們全都是同一個人刻出來的,也都住在同一個村子裡。
微美克人整天只做一件事,而且每天都一樣:他們互相貼貼紙。每一個微美克人都有一盒金星貼紙和一盒灰點貼紙。他們每天在大街小巷裡,給遇到的人貼貼紙。
木質光滑、漆色好的漂亮木頭人總是被貼上星星。木質粗糙或油漆脫落的就會被貼灰點點。有才能的人當然也會被貼星星。例如,有些人可以把大木棍舉過頭頂,或是可以跳過堆高的箱子。另外,有些人學問好,還有些很會唱歌。大家都會給這些人星星貼紙。有些微美克人全身都貼滿了星星!每得到一個星星,他們就好高興!他們會想要再做點什麼,好再多得一個星星。
然而,什麼都做不好的人的人,就只有得灰點點的份了。胖哥就是其中之一。
他想要跟別人一樣跳很高,卻總是摔的四腳朝天。一旦他摔下來,其他人就會圍過來,為他貼上灰點點。有時候,他摔下來時刮傷了他的身體,別人又為他再貼上灰點貼紙。然後,他為了解釋他為什麼會摔倒,講了一些可笑的理由,別人又會給他再多貼一些灰點。
不久之後,他因為灰點太多,就不想出門了。他怕又做出什麼傻事,像是忘了帽子或是踩進水裡,那樣別人就會再給他一個灰點。
其實,有些人只因為看到他身上有很多灰點貼紙,就會跑過來再給他多加一個,根本沒有其他理由。「他本來就該被貼很多點點的。」大家都這麼說。「因為他不是個好木頭人。」聽多了這樣的話,胖哥也這麼認為了。他會說:「是啊,我不是個好微美克人了。」
他很少出門,每次他出去就會去跟有很多灰點點的人在一起,這樣他才不會自卑。 有一天,他遇見一個很不一樣的微美克人。
她的身上既沒有灰點點,也沒有星星,就只是木頭。她的名字叫露西亞。可不是別人不給她貼貼紙喔,是因為貼紙根本貼不住。有些人很欽佩露西亞沒有得到任何灰點,所以他們便想為她貼上星星,但是一貼,貼紙就掉下來了。有些人因為露西亞沒有星星,所以瞧不起她,他們想給她貼灰點,但是也貼不住。
胖哥心裡想:我就是想這樣。我不想要任何記號。所以,他問那個身上沒有貼紙的微美克人,怎麼做可以跟她一樣。「很簡單啊!」露西亞說。「我每天去找伊萊。」「伊萊?」「對呀!就是木匠伊萊。我會跟他一起坐在他的工作室裡。」「為什麼?」「你自己去看看不就知道了嗎?去吧!他就在山丘上。」
那個沒有貼紙的微美克人一說完,就轉身,踏著輕快的步伐離開了。「但是,他肯見我嗎?」胖哥大喊。不過露西亞沒有聽到。
所以胖哥還是回家了。他坐在窗邊,看著外面的微美克人彼此追逐,爭相為別人貼貼紙。「這是不對的。」他對自已說。他決定去見伊萊。
他走上通往山頂的小路,然後走進那間大大的工室。 這裡的東西都好大,讓他不禁張大了他的木頭眼睛。連凳子都跟他一樣高。他得踮起腳尖才看得見工作檯的檯面。而鐵鎚跟他的手臂一樣長。胖哥驚訝的嚥了嚥口水。
「我不要待在這裡。」他轉身想走。這時他聽到 「胖哥?」那個聲音低沉又有力。胖哥停下腳步。「胖哥!真高興看到你。過來讓我瞧瞧。」胖哥慢慢轉過身,看著那位高大、滿臉鬍子的木匠。他問木匠:「你知道我的名字?」「當然囉。你是我造的啊。」伊萊彎下腰,把胖哥抱到工作檯上。
「嗯‧‧‧‧‧」這位創造者看見他身上的灰點,若有所思的說:「看來,別人給了你一些不好的記號。」「我不是故意的,伊萊。我真的很努力了。」「喔,孩子,你不用在我面前為自己辯護。我不在乎別的微美克人怎麼想。」「你不在乎?」「我不在乎,你也不應該在乎。給你星星或點點的是誰?他們和你一樣,都只是微美克人。他們怎麼想並不重要,胖哥。重要的是我怎麼想。我覺得你很特別。」胖哥笑了。「我?很特別?為什麼?我走不快,跳不高。我的漆也開始剝落。你為什麼在乎我?」
伊萊看著胖哥,他把手放在胖哥的小木頭肩膀上,緩緩的說:「因為你是我的。所以我在乎你。」胖哥從來沒有被人這樣盯著看,更不要說是他的創造者。他不知道該說什麼才好。「我天天都盼著你來,」伊萊說。
「我來是因為我碰到一個沒有被貼貼紙的人。」胖哥說。「我知道。她提起過你。」「為什麼貼紙在她的身上都貼不住呢?」創造者溫柔的說:「因為她決定要把我的想法看得比別人的想法更重要。只有當你讓貼紙貼到你身上的時候,貼紙才會貼得住。」「什麼?」「當你在乎貼紙的時候,貼紙才會貼得住。你愈相信我的愛,就愈不會在乎他們的貼紙了。」「我不太懂。」伊萊微笑的說:「你會懂得,不過得花點時間,因為你有很多貼紙。現在開始,你只要每天來見我,讓我來提醒你我有多愛你。」
伊萊把胖哥從工作檯上舉起,放到地上。當胖哥走出門時,伊萊對他說:「記得,你很特別,因為我創造了你。我從不失誤的。」胖哥並沒有停下腳步,但他在心裡想:我想他說的是真的。 就在他這麼想的時候,一個灰點掉下來了。
In this less than 30 minute documentary, head of the HK Observatory Lam Chiu Ying and boss of a Dai Pai Dong, Mr. Lee, show us how to lead a “good” life amidst adversity.
http://www.rthk.org.hk/rthk/tv/hkcc/20081124.html
| 2008-11-24 |
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網上直播完畢稍後提供節目重溫 Archive available later after live webcast. |
| 景 隨 心 轉
面 對 氣 候 惡 化 和 經 濟 不 景 , 可 以 如 何 化 悲 苦 為 力 量 ? 林 超 英 努 力 充 實 生 活 中 每 分 每 秒 , 認 真 經 營 人 生 , 四 出 演 說 地 球 暖 化 的 科 學 數 據 ; 李 老 闆 沒 有 斤 斤 計 較 , 憑 勇 氣 承 擔 免 費 粥 品 , 送 給 長 者 作 禮 物 。 兩 人 為 所 當 為 , 樂 觀 奮 鬥 , 令 自 己 快 樂 , 亦 影 響 他 人 去 群 策 群 力 , 帶 出 關 懷 和 暖 流 。 林 超 英 說 過 , 人 類 的 先 祖 從 20 萬 年 前 冰 河 時 期 開 始 , 經 過 好 多 自 然 界 巨 大 的 轉 變 , 甚 至 有 傷 害 性 的 轉 變 , 不 是 憑 什 麼 過 人 智 慧 , 而 沒 有 滅 絕 , 而 是 靠 互 相 關 心 和 合 作 的 本 性 , 勝 過 劣 境 , 繁 衍 下 來 的 。
Philippians 4:8 (New International Version)“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” |