Mom, 83, getting used to being pushed around in a wheelchair
Went with G to see Dr. C. What a lovely old man. Love the professional way he dissect the problems. Love his motto “努力爭取 隨遇而安”. Love his matter-of-fact and rather cool way in discussing all these intimate and embarrassing questions.
Adjustment disorder, what a wonderful term.
There is never one moment in life we do not change. And change we must adapt to. I am glad God has given me this opportunity to serve. Pray for his healing hands to work fast together with Dr. C’s medicine and N’s counselling.
Mom is adjusting to her new wheelchair.
What feelings do I have when I first saw that! Glad to see that her needs are being met. The wheelchair gives her sore feet some rest when she goes out and about. A bit sad to see that mom is indeed turning very old, and fear that ……
Mom is such a great person. Although she has never gone to school, never received any formal education. But she is so wise, so tough, so strong. Always there for us. K is writing her life story for Chinese class. Maybe I should do the same. Just for her.
CH was in tears for the whole General Studies class yesterday. Mr. O L told me when I picked CH up at the school gate that CH was leaning toward his classmate while doing a test, and he thought he was cheating. CH said he just want to borrow a piece of rubber. Knowing that my son could be cunning at times, I immediately checked his pencil case. Indeed there was no rubber therein. As Mr. O L retold this story amid the on-looking classmates and schoolmates, CH’s eyes turned red. “It’s nothing, my eyes are just itchy.”
K was rude again to 3K yesterday morning. Glad to see her apologizing in email. When I sent L to High School, there was this little girl in PE uniform crossing the road. Her face was so familiar… and she was K. In PE class, she chose triathlon. And they got to bike, swim and jog. “We swam out to the sea at Turtle Cove. It was such fun.” Glad to see her enjoying school again after switching for two months.
L was busy with college app, homework and tests.
I do enjoy reading your posts. Have you tried tallying how many times CH is put to tears because of school work in the course of a week? Did you count how many times he’s happy? How do you think he’ll remember his childhood when he’s a grown-up? I was a very good child, but by F.5, I felt so cheated by the whole educational system that I no longer had a goal in mind; just totally lost interest in studying, didn’t see the point at all. In fact, at one point, I thought everyone was so hypocritical that I should not have been so obedient and so good as a child; it was not fun at all.
Just some thoughts …
Comment by Jackie — October 17, 2008 @ 5:52 am
Dear Aunt Shirley,
It’s delightful reading your story. I really enjoy that. Please keep it up!!!
I got the exact same feeling as yours at the very first moment I saw grandma sitting on the wheelchair. I always think that Grandma is very healthy and strong. Even she has been my grandma all of my life, I always think that she will always be there. But in the bottom of my heart where the truth lies, I know it will not happen. And that’s make me sad. I was in my office and I almost cry.
I am thinking what I can do for grandma. I am hoping I can share my faith to Jesus with Grandma. How great would it be if grandma and the rest of our family can believe in God. Let’s pray for that to happen together.
Poor CH, I feel bad for him. The education system in Hong Kong is so cruel. I forgot how I survived that. However, because I grow up in Hong Kong, that help me out a lot when I was in graduate school in US – Schools in US are so much easier.
Please say Hi to the kids for me, I miss them.
Wish to see you all soon.
God bless,
Ricky
Comment by Ricky — October 17, 2008 @ 6:04 am
Shirley:
It brings me both joy an sadness reading your blog. What a parent has to do for his/her kid? When they are young you worry
about their school work. Once they get older you worry about their career
and their family.
What a parent has to do?
If you know of all these worries would we still venture into this mess
called parenthood? Would anyone be willing to have kids?
Life is a struggle for most, particularly when we are at a disadvantageous
position. Sometimes we overcome obstacle easily, sometimes not.
Nevertheless so long as we are on the planet earth we all have our own
destinies and they need not be the same. Life has its twists and turns.
I take it as journey and try to enjoy the moments. How do you take it?
Shaddy (my dog) lost her hearing a while back. I was worried that she
would not be able to adjust but she did just fine. A famous dog trainer
once said that dogs are better than humans because they live at the moment
and therefore are better able to adjust. Apparently this is true with my
dog as well. I think that old people are like that too. They realize the
inevitability of losing (losing the ability to walk, to talk and
etc.),they accept it and adjust to it. Again, Mom is a great case in
point. I feel no sadness that she is using a wheelchair for now this toy
shall provide what she sorely miss in the past. She has gained great
ability to go outside and travel because of it. For that I am glad. Her
quality of life will be better because of it. This reminds of the
following
God grant me serenity to accept things I cannot change.
Courage to change those I can.
And, wisdom to know the difference.
Best,
Stan
Comment by Stan — October 17, 2008 @ 6:10 am
Dear Shirley,
Thanks for sharing your blog with us. I’m a little sad to see how CH is
going thru. As you said, he is a cheerful boy, all I can remember about him
are his smile and energy. Sad to see how he struggles with P2. To me, all
kids should have a happy childhood. Both Ed and Al had the same
kindergarten teacher Mrs. Clarke, she was just a great teacher, nurturing,
kind, patient. Ed still visits and hugs her once a while. On the classroom
window, a banner is hung there writing ‘ Childhood is a journey, not a
race’. This sentence is always in my mind since then. I understand living
at HK is a different story and it’s hard not to face the pressure from
other people, or even from your spouse. I just hope you and your family
live in harmony.
Mom is getting old, there is no doubt about it. She looked even older in
the wheelchair giving she was having a cold that day. L takes care of
her pretty good, she did change and start realizing Mom is deteriorating
physically. What we can do is be with her as much as possible. She is very
happy to learn that there will be a gathering at Christmas time. We should
feel fortunate that she has a clear mind when my friends told me about
their Alzheimer parents. As you said, we should be thankful.
You take care and be strong.
Best wishes,
Kitty
Comment by Kitty — October 17, 2008 @ 6:13 am
So touched reading your blog.
You are so honest with yourself.
Sometimes it’s so hard to face one’s own self.
Parents of normal children can hardly understand the stress we are facing. (not even our partner!)
I am not concerned with the marks M gets, but his feeling.
It’s not easy to keep a healthy self-esteem for children with learning disabilities.
We have to be strong in order to help our children.
Pray we don’t give up hope and trust.
Love,
Portia
Comment by Portia — October 17, 2008 @ 6:19 am