“Perhap the hardest lesson to learn is not to be attached to the results of your actions.”
Joan Borysenko
Unattachment is the release of need or expectation associated with a specific outcome. For most people, this is one of the most difficult lessons to learn. We become attached to the way we envision something working out, and struggle to make circumstances bend to our desires. Life, however, often has its own agenda, and we are destined to suffer unless we give up our attachment to things working out exactly as we would like. We learn unattachment when we are able to release our belief that “there” is any better than “here”.
Unattachment is one of the cornerstones of Buddhism. For centuries, Buddhists have taught that one of the major causes of unhappiness is desire – desire for a person, for material things, for money or status. These desires create our attachments. We become attached to a person, attached to money, our new car, or our status as a senior vice president. Ultimately, these attachments are fleeting, we spend a lot of our time and energy in pursuit of them, and they prevent us from paying attention to the really important things in life. Feeling desire assumes a sense of dissatisfaction an brings about suffering. The way to happiness is to eliminate desire and the way to eliminate desire is to eliminate attachments.
Being unattached does not mean being disinterested or removed; rather, it means remaining neutral in your judgments of circumstances and in your desire for a specific outcome. In other words, if your goal is to amass a million dollars, it is natural and right for you to pursue that goal. The key to serenity, however, lies in your ability to hold lightly to the image of yourself reaching that goal. In doing so, you will feel peaceful in your situation regardless of the outcome. Unattachment means you are not bound by your expectations of how things should turn out, and that you are willing to let go.
In order to learn how to dissolve attachments, you will need to take the following steps:
1. Notice that you want and acknowledge that outcome you are attached to.
2. Imagine the ideal outcome of your situation, and then imagine the worst-case
scenario. Doing this brings any hidden fears to light and makes it acceptable
for the outcome to go either way.
3. Make a clear statement to the universe by writing out your desire clearly or
saying it out loud.
4. In your mind, create the image of you holding the intention lightly in the palm of your hand, with your fingers held loosely open.
5. Mentally release the desire out into the universe, trusting that whatever outcome you receive will be the right one. You can use the visualization
of placing your wish in a helium balloon and allowing the balloon to drift up and away. Actually see yourself letting go of the attachment.
If your desire is for financial prosperity, your first step would be to notice your desire and acknowledge any attachments you have to achieving such prosperity. Perhaps you envision in your mind’s eye an easier life, filled with abundant luxuries and many hours of free time, and you believer that financial prosperity will afford you that life. Become very clear in your mind about the outcome you believe you will experience if you realize your desire.
Run your mind through the worst-case scenario. What would happen if you did not achiever financial prosperity? Take this to the furthest extreme you can imagine, even it sounds far-fetched and irrational. Doing this will bring your deepest fears and beliefs to light and give them less of a hold over you.
Next, put your intention of achieving financial prosperity out into the universe, through mental images, thoughts, word— perhaps even in writing. Be specific and clear about what you want.
Third, conjure up the picture in your mind of you holding financial prosperity lightly in the palm of your hand, with your fingers outstretched.
Then release your desire out into the universe, mentally envisioning it encased in a helium balloon, floating away. Remain anchored in the knowledge that whatever outcome you receive will ultimately be for the best.
If Life is a Game, These are the Rules P.84-87
Cherie Carter-Scott
Jesus’ prayer at Gethsemane
Mark 14 v32 – 36
Just before Jesus was arrested and put to the cross
“They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples,” Sit here while I pray,” He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.”
Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. “Abba, Father,” he said,” everything is possible for your. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”
1 Thessalonian 5 v 16-18
“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
Mary’s obedience to God
Luke 1 v 35-38
“The angel answered, ‘The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God.’
‘I am the Lord’s servant,’ Mary answered. ‘May it be to me as you have said,” Then the angel left her.’”
Luke 1 v 45 – 55
(When Mary visited Elizabeth, the latter said):”Blessed is she who has believed that what God has said to her will be accomplished!”
And Mary said:
“My soul glorifies the Lord
and my spirit rejoices in God My Savior,
for he has been mindful
of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed,
For the Mighty One has done great things for me –
Holy is his name.
His mercy extends to those who fear him,
From generation to generation.
He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;
He has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts,
He has brought down rulers from their thrones,
But has lifted up the humble.
He has filled the hungry with good things
But has sent the rich away empty.
He has helped his servant Israel,
Remembering to be merciful
To Abraham and his descendants forever,
Even as he said to our fathers.
