The Lord Bless you and Keep You
January 1, 2009
December 18, 2008
December 17, 2008
心疲 蘇穎睿牧師
蘇穎睿牧師 心疲 16/11/2008 播道會窩福堂 主日崇拜 廣州話
copy and paste mms://whc.org.hk/2277/so_20081116_mid.wma
December 13, 2008
December 6, 2008
Helping Kids with Learning Problems: 11 steps to providing a supportive emotional environment
Eleven Steps to Providing a Supportive Emotional Environment
from Overcoming Underachieving (P.126-7) by Dr. Sam Goldstein and Dr. Nancy Mather published 1998 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
1. Try to see the world through the eyes of your child. All is not always as it appears to you. Make an effort to understand how your child thinks, feels, and then behaves. You must be able to see the world from your child’s perspectives — a task that will take time, patience, persistence and effort on your part.
2. Be reliable and available. When possible, schedule private time with your child each day.
3. Continue to offer love, safety and security, regardless of any problems. Make certain you express your care and concern even when your child disagrees with you.
4. Reinforce effort, even if he or she is not successful. Provide lots of love — hugs, kisses and pats on the back.
5. Consistently foster self-esteem. School success is not a matter of your child’s succeeding at all costs; instead, feeling good about successes is the goal. Do not spend so much time on academic performance that your neglect other strengths and talents; instead, help to find activities that promote those natural talents.
6. Build responsibility. Allow your child the opportunity to do things independently and to learn from experience, while keeping in mind that, for some children, responsible behavior develops in very small steps.
7. Start with the end in mind, and set goals that can be accomplished. Whether the goal is developing math, reading, or behavioral skills, know where you want to go and review this information with your child. Be specific about what “behaving better” entails, and set small, attainable objectives along the way.
8. Use a problem-solving model. It is critically important that you offer your child a good example of how to deal with life’s problems day in and day out. Demonstrate that you believe failure is something to learn from and that an understanding of today’s failure can lay the foundation for tomorrow’s successes.
9. Make certain that there is a balance in your child’s life. Children with school problems often spend an inordinate amount of time completing schoolwork, and they end up feeling that they do little beyond trying to deliver a satisfactory finished product in an area that doesn’t matter to them. They often don’t spend time in activities they enjoy. When after-school time is limited, make sure that your child spends some of it in activities that are enjoyable and reinforcing.
10. Take care of your relationship with your child. Among the best predictors of children’s success in adult life is the quality of the relationship they have with their parents — independent of school success or failure. Your relationship with your child may become strained becasue of repeated problems, so take extra time to keep the scales balanced and the overall relationship positive. No matter how things are going at school, find a way to spend enjoyable, nonstressful time with your child at least a number of times each week. It doesn’t matter whether you play cards, go out for pizza, or toss a ball back and forth — what’s important is having a regular activity that is enjoyable for both of you.
11. Remember that your goal is to be a safety net, not a savior. Not surprisingly, children with school difficulties often seek gratification in other areas. That’s why it’s so important for you to provide structure, support and successful experiences in the home, which your child can then transfer to mastery of the world outside. You must walk a fine line of encouraging your child, supporting his or her endeavors, and acting as a safety net rather than a keeper.
Advice for Parents with Kids who have Learning Problems
From Overcoming underachieving: An Action Guide to Helping Your child to succeed in School by Dr. Sam Goldstein and Dr. Nancy Mather, published 1998 by John Wiley & Sons Inc, USA
Understanding Learning and Learning Problems P.7
The learning problems of children usually cannot be resolved quickly or cured with a “magic potion”. Instead, they are often chronic and require regular management. It’s a parent’s job to be the manager and, eventually, to help the child to learn to self-manage the problem. To be effective at this job, however, parents must first understand how children learn. What skills are required for school success? How do strengths and weaknesses in particular skills affect a child’s mastery of particular subjects?….
If Your child is a chip off the old Block P. 59
…many of the same issues affected your own childhood and are even present in your adult life today. This would not be surprising; problems with inattention and impulsivity are often hereditary. If you continue to experience these types of problems as an adult, getting help for yourself is a critical step in helping your child. Long-term studies clearly show that parents’ availability, competence, and persistence are key factors in predicting good life outcomes for their children. By taking care of your problems, you will be easing your child’s problems….
Self-Esteem and You, the Parent P. 106
As we have suggested, your own self-esteem is likely to have a significant impact on how you cope with and respond to your child’s problems. The quality of these interactions, in turn, will significantly impact your child’s self-esteem.
There are two important rules for every parent: The “Three C” rule and the “Three P” rule.
The Three C rule stresses commitment, challenges and control. Recognize the importance of what you do as a parent, and give yourself credit for remaining committed – sticking with your role even in the face of struggles. Learn to view difficult situations as challenges, or opportunities to learn, rather than as stresses to avoid. Finally, recognize what you can change and what you can’t, and keep focus on what you have control over rather than on what you do not.
The Three P rule is simple: Be proud of your child despite the struggle, and convey your belief in him or her. Be patient. Recognize that although it may take your child longer to master a task, time and practice will bring success. And be persistent: develop a set of goals, and keep focusing on accomplishing these goals and on helping others, including your child’s teachers, to help your child meet these goals.
Teach these rules to your child. Be committed, learning to recognize difficult situations as challenges, and recognizing that in every situation each of us has some control will help your child build, nurture, and foster self-esteem. It will protect against being wounded by unthinking adults and other children. Likewise, learning to be proud, patient and persistent will develop extra resources for facing unexpected life events….
Being a “Fair” Parent P. 138
Children who have problems with learning require a great amount of time, especially from parents. If you have several children, don’t feel quilty about treating them differently, according to their needs…. Each child needs something different from the family environment. Children with attentional and behavioral difficulties require exceptional parents because parenting these children is more demanding and challenging than parent children who do not have these problems. The fairest thing that you can do as a parent is: respond to and attempt to meet the individual needs of your children. When children grow up in warm, supportive homes and participate in classrooms where expectations are realistic, they are far less likely to develop other weaknesses in the foundational blocks of emotions and self-esteem.
Being a conscientious parent is not an easy job. Remember to pat yourself on the back occasionally, and keep your sense of humor. You and your child will have your share of bad as well as good days, but be assured that your patience, persistence, and efforts will pay off….
November 25, 2008
鏗 鏘 集 景 隨 心 轉
In this less than 30 minute documentary, head of the HK Observatory Lam Chiu Ying and boss of a Dai Pai Dong, Mr. Lee, show us how to lead a “good” life amidst adversity.
http://www.rthk.org.hk/rthk/tv/hkcc/20081124.html
| 2008-11-24 |
收看 Watch
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網上直播完畢稍後提供節目重溫 Archive available later after live webcast. |
| 景 隨 心 轉
面 對 氣 候 惡 化 和 經 濟 不 景 , 可 以 如 何 化 悲 苦 為 力 量 ? 林 超 英 努 力 充 實 生 活 中 每 分 每 秒 , 認 真 經 營 人 生 , 四 出 演 說 地 球 暖 化 的 科 學 數 據 ; 李 老 闆 沒 有 斤 斤 計 較 , 憑 勇 氣 承 擔 免 費 粥 品 , 送 給 長 者 作 禮 物 。 兩 人 為 所 當 為 , 樂 觀 奮 鬥 , 令 自 己 快 樂 , 亦 影 響 他 人 去 群 策 群 力 , 帶 出 關 懷 和 暖 流 。 林 超 英 說 過 , 人 類 的 先 祖 從 20 萬 年 前 冰 河 時 期 開 始 , 經 過 好 多 自 然 界 巨 大 的 轉 變 ， 甚 至 有 傷 害 性 的 轉 變 , 不 是 憑 什 麼 過 人 智 慧 , 而 沒 有 滅 絕 , 而 是 靠 互 相 關 心 和 合 作 的 本 性 , 勝 過 劣 境 , 繁 衍 下 來 的 。
Philippians 4:8 (New International Version)“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” |
November 14, 2008
你很特別」繪本
你很特別 — 特別的書給特別的你
當今孩子們真是活得很辛苦 . 雖然物質上不缺乏 , 卻有來自不安全感的焦慮和壓力 . 他們不但被比來比去 , 也會自己不知覺地跟別人比 . 在比較之中 , 他們迷失了 , 也產生混亂和模糊的自我概念 .
[自我概念] 是指一個人的自知之明 .
從很小的時候 , 孩子就從周圍的人對他的評價中 , 開始搭建 [我是誰] 的工程 . 漸漸長大 , 有的人會將累積下來的評價整理 , 修正 , 對自己有一番還算不太偏差的認識 ; 但是也有不少人一直停留在別人的評價中 , 老怕自己不夠好 , 日子過得很辛苦 .
就像在這個故事中 , 有的人被貼了太多的金星貼紙 , 以致自恃過高 ; 也有的人已經貼滿灰點貼紙 , 覺得自己一無是處 , 自卑自憐 . 其實 , 自高和自卑都是不健康的自我概念 . 而自我概念就像人生的藍圖 , 如果距離實際太遠 , 即使很認真 , 很努力地蓋 , 蓋出來的建築物還是不理想 , 也會有許多浪費 , 就像胖哥一樣 .
幸好 , 他找到了那位創造他的依萊 , 瞭解了自己的尊貴與獨特 . 你相信有一天他也會像他所羨慕的露西亞一樣 , 不必活在別人的論斷中嗎 ? 你相信當身上被莫名其妙貼上的貼紙都掉落後 , 胖哥能享受更坦然自在的自我嗎 ? 你相信有了健康的自我概念的胖哥 , 會把他貼別人的貼紙也都丟掉嗎 ?
國立台灣師範大學教授 黃迺毓
你很特別」繪本內容
文章來源：「你很特別」陸可鐸著 /丘慧文、郭恩惠譯 道聲出版社
微美克人是一群小木頭人。他們都是木匠伊萊雕刻成的。他的工作室座落在一個山丘上，從那兒可以俯瞰整個微美克村。
每一個微美克人都長得不一樣。有的大鼻子，有的大眼睛；有的個子高，有的個子矮；有人帶帽子，有人穿外套。
但是他們全都是同一個人刻出來的，也都住在同一個村子裡。
微美克人整天只做一件事，而且每天都一樣：他們互相貼貼紙。每一個微美克人都有一盒金星貼紙和一盒灰點貼紙。他們每天在大街小巷裡，給遇到的人貼貼紙。
木質光滑、漆色好的漂亮木頭人總是被貼上星星。木質粗糙或油漆脫落的就會被貼灰點點。有才能的人當然也會被貼星星。例如，有些人可以把大木棍舉過頭頂，或是可以跳過堆高的箱子。另外，有些人學問好，還有些很會唱歌。大家都會給這些人星星貼紙。有些微美克人全身都貼滿了星星！每得到一個星星，他們就好高興！他們會想要再做點什麼，好再多得一個星星。
然而，什麼都做不好的人的人，就只有得灰點點的份了。胖哥就是其中之一。
他想要跟別人一樣跳很高，卻總是摔的四腳朝天。一旦他摔下來，其他人就會圍過來，為他貼上灰點點。有時候，他摔下來時刮傷了他的身體，別人又為他再貼上灰點貼紙。然後，他為了解釋他為什麼會摔倒，講了一些可笑的理由，別人又會給他再多貼一些灰點。
不久之後，他因為灰點太多，就不想出門了。他怕又做出什麼傻事，像是忘了帽子或是踩進水裡，那樣別人就會再給他一個灰點。
其實，有些人只因為看到他身上有很多灰點貼紙，就會跑過來再給他多加一個，根本沒有其他理由。「他本來就該被貼很多點點的。」大家都這麼說。「因為他不是個好木頭人。」聽多了這樣的話，胖哥也這麼認為了。他會說：「是啊，我不是個好微美克人了。」
他很少出門，每次他出去就會去跟有很多灰點點的人在一起，這樣他才不會自卑。 有一天，他遇見一個很不一樣的微美克人。
她的身上既沒有灰點點，也沒有星星，就只是木頭。她的名字叫露西亞。可不是別人不給她貼貼紙喔，是因為貼紙根本貼不住。有些人很欽佩露西亞沒有得到任何灰點，所以他們便想為她貼上星星，但是一貼，貼紙就掉下來了。有些人因為露西亞沒有星星，所以瞧不起她，他們想給她貼灰點，但是也貼不住。
胖哥心裡想：我就是想這樣。我不想要任何記號。所以，他問那個身上沒有貼紙的微美克人，怎麼做可以跟她一樣。「很簡單啊！」露西亞說。「我每天去找伊萊。」「伊萊？」「對呀！就是木匠伊萊。我會跟他一起坐在他的工作室裡。」「為什麼？」「你自己去看看不就知道了嗎？去吧！他就在山丘上。」
那個沒有貼紙的微美克人一說完，就轉身，踏著輕快的步伐離開了。「但是，他肯見我嗎？」胖哥大喊。不過露西亞沒有聽到。
所以胖哥還是回家了。他坐在窗邊，看著外面的微美克人彼此追逐，爭相為別人貼貼紙。「這是不對的。」他對自已說。他決定去見伊萊。
他走上通往山頂的小路，然後走進那間大大的工室。 這裡的東西都好大，讓他不禁張大了他的木頭眼睛。連凳子都跟他一樣高。他得踮起腳尖才看得見工作檯的檯面。而鐵鎚跟他的手臂一樣長。胖哥驚訝的嚥了嚥口水。
「我不要待在這裡。」他轉身想走。這時他聽到 「胖哥？」那個聲音低沉又有力。胖哥停下腳步。「胖哥！真高興看到你。過來讓我瞧瞧。」胖哥慢慢轉過身，看著那位高大、滿臉鬍子的木匠。他問木匠：「你知道我的名字？」「當然囉。你是我造的啊。」伊萊彎下腰，把胖哥抱到工作檯上。
「嗯‧‧‧‧‧」這位創造者看見他身上的灰點，若有所思的說：「看來，別人給了你一些不好的記號。」「我不是故意的，伊萊。我真的很努力了。」「喔，孩子，你不用在我面前為自己辯護。我不在乎別的微美克人怎麼想。」「你不在乎？」「我不在乎，你也不應該在乎。給你星星或點點的是誰？他們和你一樣，都只是微美克人。他們怎麼想並不重要，胖哥。重要的是我怎麼想。我覺得你很特別。」胖哥笑了。「我？很特別？為什麼？我走不快，跳不高。我的漆也開始剝落。你為什麼在乎我？」
伊萊看著胖哥，他把手放在胖哥的小木頭肩膀上，緩緩的說：「因為你是我的。所以我在乎你。」胖哥從來沒有被人這樣盯著看，更不要說是他的創造者。他不知道該說什麼才好。「我天天都盼著你來，」伊萊說。
「我來是因為我碰到一個沒有被貼貼紙的人。」胖哥說。「我知道。她提起過你。」「為什麼貼紙在她的身上都貼不住呢？」創造者溫柔的說：「因為她決定要把我的想法看得比別人的想法更重要。只有當你讓貼紙貼到你身上的時候，貼紙才會貼得住。」「什麼？」「當你在乎貼紙的時候，貼紙才會貼得住。你愈相信我的愛，就愈不會在乎他們的貼紙了。」「我不太懂。」伊萊微笑的說：「你會懂得，不過得花點時間，因為你有很多貼紙。現在開始，你只要每天來見我，讓我來提醒你我有多愛你。」
伊萊把胖哥從工作檯上舉起，放到地上。當胖哥走出門時，伊萊對他說：「記得，你很特別，因為我創造了你。我從不失誤的。」胖哥並沒有停下腳步，但他在心裡想：我想他說的是真的。 就在他這麼想的時候，一個灰點掉下來了。
November 13, 2008
Peace and Joy
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand.
And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produce perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Romans 5 v 1-5
My grace is sufficient for you, for power is make perfect in weakness
2 Cor 12:9
Love is Patient, Love is Kind
“4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails.”
1 Corinthians 13 v 4-8
